Watching the Jersey Shore leaves you with a feeling that must be similar to waking up next to one of the characters from the show.  The regret hits you right away. But then the hangover settles in and all you know is you need to be somewhere else as soon as possible or you’re going to throw up all over the Situation’s sheets.

Rather than doing what any sane people would do (running away), we’ve voluntarily  jumped back into those polluted Jersey waters to finish what we started.  It’s an arduous process that is mostly about finding anything at all to pay attention to besides Ron and Sam’s incessant fighting.  We grasp at any and all straws.  Like, for instance, Snooki’s claim that the ocean is salty because of whale sperm.