Have you ever not wanted to throw something away? Does it sound fun to collect your favorite things? How about living in a house with no heat with piles of your used adult diapers? No? Then that’s where you differ from the people on Hoarders.

This is by far the saddest show on reality TV this side of 16 and Pregnant. There’s a sad woman who collects dolls, an angry man who collects toys, and an eccentric inventor who fills his 150-acre wildlife preserve with used cars. Actually, that last guy was kinda fun. But the rest of it is just terrible to watch. It makes you want to wash out your eyeballs and then throw them away because you’ve clearly been hoarding them.

Joining us for the first time since the 4-Hour Body is fan-favorite Colleen, a connoisseur of reality TV.

Also in this episode:

• Another Read it and Weep debate!
• A surprisingly long discussion about intimate relations with food products!
• A brand new Audible Ad! (May contain moose.)
• And some other stuff that I can’t remember right now!