If you’re ever running for president, do yourself a favor: don’t sleep with Rielle Hunter.

I don’t know if “What Really Happened” is true or not. But the sad thing is, if it is, Rielle Hunter and John Edwards are both stupider than what we ever knew. They’re petty, vindictive, whiny, defensive, and most of all, dumb as an empty can of Mountain Dew.

Hunter is a former coke head and current “life coach.” She thinks the rhythm method is a reliable form of birth control but doesn’t know which part of the rhythm is which. She doesn’t understand why people care about her affair with a man while he’s running for president and his wife is dying of cancer.

Edwards has never used an ATM before, thinks spending campaign money to bring his mistress with him as he campaigns is a good idea, and had an affair with a “life coach.”

Both of the them thought making a sex tape was a good idea. OH. MY. GOD. Why would you make a freaking sex tape? You are both the dumbest.

If you need to know what really happened, read the book. But if you’d prefer to not hear any more about these two insane people who don’t deserve any more attention, then listen to this podcast and then forget about Rielle Hunter and John Edwards forever.