The one thing Twilight was missing was witches, right? This book fixes that problem by having a vampire and a witch fall in love. It’s almost amazing the innovation that exists in modern literature.

Diana Bishop is a librarian (exciting!) pretending not to be a witch and studying alchemy in England when she accidentally uncovers an ancient manuscript that holds the secret to… something. We’re not sure. But everybody else in the world is super excited to get their hands on it (and her) starting with a morally flawless and totally hot Vampire named Matthew. They date and piss off all the vampires and witches.

While participating in several boring activities (wine tasting, rowing, yoga) the two discuss the history of magical creatures and then they leave the country whenever something is about to happen. The book ends in the middle so they can sell sequels. Fun.