After the thousand pages of Wizard’s First Rule, it didn’t seem like there was much more to say. But that’s never held Terry Goodkind back, so he wrote another thousand pages of wizards walking around being sex tortured. And that is the Stone of Tears.

Stone of Tears is about Richard and Kahlan, two attractive heroes of magic world who walk a long way across Magicland (and then walk and walk and walk) who are trying to stop the devil from killing everybody. But they’re like hero cats because they’re constantly distracted by unrelated problems. So they walk and get distracted and walk and get sex tortured. And that’s the book.

We play the game of Juggernaut to figure out how to stop “Kahtard” from stopping evil. Thanks to Winston for sponsoring (but also we hate you and you suck).

BONUS! Make sure you stay through the credits because there’s a special clip from Chris and Alex’s early days of radio.