Ezra’s going on paternity leave soon, but before his first child is born, he needs to learn how to be a dad. Fortunately, he’s got the help of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Vin Diesel, and the most annoying talking babies of all time.

First up it’s Junior, the movie about a man carrying a fetus to term in his abdomen and giving birth. Played by Schwarzenegger, he’s no worse at acting pregnant than any other roll.

Then we jump to babies in Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, one of the worst films of all time. They’re talking, but you don’t want to hear what they say.

Lastly we watched The Pacifier, a movie about Vin Diesel playing a nanny. It’s not good, compared to the other two it’s really comforting.

We wish Ezra the best in the coming weeks. Nick, on the other hand, is never going to be a dad so he’s passing his life advice along to the Internet here: NoSonOfMine.com.