Just like the cereal aisle has Frosted Mini Spooners and Tootie Fruities, so do movies have cheap imitations. A company called Asylum is the Malt-o-Meal of the film industry, pumping out straight-to-dvd knock-offs of big budget films and leaching off the advertising budgets of big studios.

Sherlock Holmes is one such copy, of the Robert Downey Jr action-movie version of 2010. But unlike Rice Crispness, this movie does have an original story, one that nobody has ever attempted before because… it’s stupid. Sherlock Holmes, played punchably by Ben Syder, has to fight a dragon, kracken, and t-rex (albeit steampunk robotic versions of said creatures). It’s… wacky.

Not wacky at all is our sponsor Anna Chandler and her friend Jessica who is getting (or just got) married. I hope you enjoy the gift, Jess, because this is all we got you.