Everybody who reads Jules Verne assumes one thing, that he’s not a brilliant science fiction writer but rather just an adequate journalist. He merely wrote down in excruciating detail a world that exists just off the cost of Palau.

Well, at least that’s what Peeta from Hunger Games and his grandfather Michael Caine assume, which is what leads them to a Mysterious Island along with Peeta’s new stepfather The Rock. But in a highly unbelievable turn, he’s not happy to have The Rock as a stepfather. They go an adventure and discover small elephants and large bees and a bunch of dumb coincidences and also a mutual respect. It’s a deeply boring adventure movie despite a stellar cast, but it’s perfect for our regular segment of Can The Rock Save This Movie?

He can’t, really, but he’s made out of shiny, well shaped teflon because no matter how bad the movie is, I still like him.

Hope you’re having a great The Roctober, ya jabronis!