Felix Gomez is a vampire detective who, instead of detecting, has to go save his girlfriend from a sex zoo on another planet. But instead of doing that he has lots of gun fights with other sexist vampires and runs from a government black ops group who isn’t related to anything. He does have sex with an alien in one of her six vaginas, but not because he wants to.

If that sounds good to you, you’re weird. But at least there’s a book out there for you. For us, it felt like we were the ones trying to escape and it just wasn’t working.