The reasons Troll 2 is so bad are the standard ones: stupid plot, boring characters, a director who didn’t speak the same language as the cast, and actors who were literally on day passes from mental hospitals.  I know what you’re thinking, we already reviewed The Room.  But no!  This is even worse.

Troll 2 is our 3rd movie from the list of films commonly considered to be the worst of all time. The worst part is the trolls, which are actually goblins, and which look like they’re wearing masks from a high school play.  Then we learn that the goblins want to kill humans by forcing them to eat green desserts which turn them into salad puddles (or trees, depending on nothing, apparently). The result is so un-scary, I not only didn’t pee my pants, I haven’t urinated since. [Editor’s note: You probably should get someone to look at that.]